It’s no secret that getting a job in the UK today is tough.But if you ask the government’s new work-hunting AI chatbot, it’s even tougher for cats.Take my own pet cat, Ethel.
She’s two years old and I’m her first real employer – her old owners abandoned her after she had two litters.She’s not eligible for benefits – they’re only for humans – so I did what anyone would do: ask a government-made AI job assistant.Keir Starmer announced the tool yesterday, describing it as a ‘Jobcentre in your pocket’ that will help get people into work and tackle inequality.
Designed by the Department for Work and Pensions and being trialled for three months, the AI work assistant can draft CVs and provide advice on applications and career development.To test it, I decided to get some career advice for Ethel.The first step is to tell the tool my skills so it can help me find a job: I enjoy taking naps, stretching and waking up my owner, Josh.
Might not sound like the most employable skills, but the bot says otherwise.‘From a human employment perspective, some of these could translate in interesting ways,’ it tells me.‘Sleeping,’ for example, ‘could suggest an interest in sleep research, wellbeing or healthcare.’ The bot adds that catching some rays shows I’m well-suted to work outdoors.
But I stress that some people are allergic to cats.Should I disclose it to employers? ‘That is a thoughtful and considerate question,’ the bot tells me/Ethel, saying that no one is obligated to disclose info not related to the role.One of the biggest draws of this AI assistant is that it can write CVs and being able to write a cat’s one, too, is quite a good selling point.
I tell it my employment history – I was adopted in January as an indoor cat before going outside to catch bugs and meow at other cats in March.Based on that, the tools says I am a ‘domestic and outdoor operative’ who transitioned to hybrid working’.My responsibilities include ‘routine self-care’, ‘pest control’ and ‘conflict resolution and stakeholder management with difficult colleagues’ (the mean male cat down the road).
My cat's AI-generated CV in full: Ethel Professional Profile A highly adaptable and self-motivated outdoor operative with experience in wildlife management, conflict resolution and stakeholder management.Skilled in independent working, problem-solving and observation.Brings patience, resilience and strong communication to any role.
Home-maker & Primary Carer (Prior to January 2026) Primary carer for two litters, managing all aspects of day-to-day care Developed strong nurturing, organisational and multitasking skills Domestic & Outdoor Operative (January 2026 – Present) Managed household responsibilities including routine self-care and time management Transitioned to hybrid working March 2026, broadening scope of responsibilities Pest control and wildlife management, specialising in insects Bird watching and wildlife observation Conflict resolution and stakeholder management Independent outdoor working with minimal supervision Key Skills Stealth and discretion Territorial awareness Independence and self-management Clear communication Adaptability across indoor and outdoor environments Heightened sensory awareness and attention to detail Balance and coordination Curiosity and problem-solving Patience and resilience Nurturing and care Being a cat has its professional drawbacks.For one, I only roam as far as the end of my road.Don’t worry, the AI work assistant stresses, I can work remotely, apply for ‘hyperlocal roles’ or self-employ as a freelance pest controller.
It was also rather stern about not including a photograph of myself to show future employers that I am, in fact, a cat.‘The general guidance for CVs in the UK is actually to not include a photograph, regardless of species,’ it tells me.With my CV to hand (paw?), the assistant pulls a list of 8,643 pest control and wildlife conservation jobs that are, it says, cat-friendly.
Unemployment in the UK More than 1.8 million people (not cats) in the UK were unemployed between January and March, up 4.5% from last year.Some 327,000 job losses are expected this year, according to the business advisory firm, Liquidation Centre.Taking a job can take a toll – it even has a name, ‘job-search depression’.
As well as the stress of not having a monthly paycheck, being out of work can result in depression, anxiety and a greater risk of substance use problems. This is something that the AI work assistant seems to know all too well – when I share my worries about being employable, it gives me many a passionate pep talk.‘You’re an AI and I’m a cat.We make a good team!’ I tell the assistant.
After telling me I should ‘network with local cats, it replies: ‘We do indeed — an unlikely partnership but a productive one.‘You came in a self-doubting cat with a napping habit and a complicated relationship with pspspsps and you are leaving with a polished CV and a clear job search strategy.’ After some final words of wisdom (‘the job market was not strictly designed with cats in mind’), the software offers a predictive reply of ‘Meow!’, so I do just that.‘Meow, Ethel,’ the bot replies.
‘Go get them.’ The Department for Work and Pensions told Metro: ‘We’re confident our AI Work Assistant will prove invaluable to the millions of people across the country looking for work – though we suspect Ethel may face some additional hurdles in her job search.Trending Now Trump refuses to hand over financial records in BBC defamation case US 4 days ago By Sam Corbishley Houseboat sets alight and cars damaged after dozens of mysterious flares fall on London Girl, 14, arrested after teacher is stabbed in the neck and two pupils hurt at school Mysterious cold blob will 'disrupt life as we know it' across Europe ‘Jokes aside, this tool has been built to give real job-seekers the support they need, whenever they need it.‘Whether it’s CV advice, career guidance or finding the right vacancy, we want everyone to have the tools to do it.
‘The fact it can even rustle up a CV for a cat shows just how capable it is – imagine what it can do for you.’ Downing Street declined to comment.Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at [email protected] more stories like this, check our news page.
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